blog6: intentionality
right now, i’m writing (surprise!). but shortly beforehand, i was struck with an impulse to articulate some intentionality, or some semblance of it at least, if not simply reflection, before spreading jam on toast. with little caffeine digested, let me think of what that moment was exactly…
i was just editing a creative writing project i hadn’t touched in a bit called new failures, and perhaps it was in this moment, one where i was editing a specific line about reflection involving a mirror (“yet, shallow are our mirrors, made of tickets with built-in waste, understanding balloons to be”) that i was reminded about one of my brother’s other questions after bringing up blogging–namely, “will i write about my process?”
with a benign, sassy tone, in that moment, i said, “is that something you would like to read?” his response–and i’m probably misremembering this–was something to the effect of enjoying reading about processes. funny enough, as much as i like to encode process and materiality into my art objects to historicize the moment(s) of joy when possible, i haven’t really, as far as i can recall, reflected via blogging (in one way or another) about my making–perhaps this could be of use in one way or another.
last night, i fell asleep on the floor listening to a mix of the yet-to-be-disclosed (gasp!) title track for a release under my musical project called tarantula, which is primarily instrumental. often, both before and after releasing music, i find it helpful to listen back to what i’m composing to assist with making (in the former, this might be a “duh,” but again, please recall i am just writing and drinking coffee as we speak and, likely, this blog post will not be heavily edited).
listening back to the tarantula piece, one recorded on a 4-track tascam portastudio 414 using guitar and pedals (freeze, delay, loop) and then overdubbed in that infinite ping-pong fashion to seek out textures that the cassette could offer, i started to notice a sort of speed at the outset of the piece and then a sort of slowing down. whether or not this had something to do with nodding off, or perhaps the worn out tape, i’m unsure; regardless, thinking about this now, my experience was and is a process (and perhaps vice-versa, too).
and i suspect that, when it comes to my often quite improvised, instrumental pieces, more reflection and re-listening might be helpful for me in order to grow artistically through experimentation (compared to, say, a genre of more conventional songwriting via my musical project genius genius, as i had also been reflecting on a recent release called spin class and where to go next last night, too). this point about re-listening to especially my improvised, instrumental music seems like a big takeaway, and, in part, this is inspired by just how blown away i am right now in listening to sml’s spontaneous live music. i was just imagining what it would be like to be these kinds of musicians and how much practice must go into their amazing work (wow!).
i no longer have the energy to wrap this up neatly, so i’ll let it be perhaps a bit bathetic.
